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Please read the below with as much interest as you choose.
It is intended to extend your possibilities for romantic relationships and roleplaying potential. There is no need to memorise this or stress about it,
it exists for flavour and inspiration.
The Four Formal Stages of Romance:
Flirting
Courting
Betrothal/Engagement
Marriage
(these are explained in more detail below)
How to get Married:
In order to wed in this society of nobility,
one should obtain the permission of the parents of both parties,
and must obtain permission of their ruling lord.
(In our case, the Baron of Watling.)
Technically, all that is required is a Christian Priest,
but any marriage without the above permissions would cause a scandal!
Wearing a Lady's Favour into battle or tournament brings honour to the Lady.
A Lady shows her love by bestowing the favour.
A lady's favour may be given - or revoked! - at any time.
Gentlemen may display them publicly, or carry them in secret.
Maud and Mary's colour is green (as they are sisters)
Helen's color is gold
Isobel's color is blue
Katherine's colour is red.
(there will be phys reps in the form of colored handkerchiefs provided.)
The Four Stages of Public Courtship
Flirting.
When romance is just starting to blossom. A couple may engage in flirting regardless of their social status, but it does risk bringing the woman’s reputation into disrepute if the man is beyond her hopes for marriage. Flirting might include (but is not limited to) the sharing of company, composure or recital of poetry, prose, or song, gifts of little to no expense such as flowers or a ladies’ favour, kissing of the hand (this is the only physical contact permitted), or performing in a tournament in honour of the lady.
Courting.
When a couple are formally seeing each other; this is expected (but not required) to lead to an engagement. This closely resembles “FLIRTING” in activity, including no more physical contact than the kiss of a hand. Courting should be entered into with the permission of their families or local, ruling sovereign (the Baron). It is seen as a time when the couple are permitted to get to know one another and discover whether they are agreeable to marriage, and passes the time while the families of both parties discuss the economic and social ramifications of the match.
Because many marriages at this time are political in nature, many couples are not granted the luxury of this stage of romance, skipped directly into a betrothal by their families’ arrangement.Courtship may be ceased at any time, by either member of the couple or their families.
Betrothal.
When a couple is formally engaged, by agreement between their families, including the promise of a dowry. If a date for the wedding has not been set it is expected to be set soon. This is as binding as a marriage would be in law, but not yet in the eyes of God. Betrothals take placed when one or both parties are too young to wed; these should be formalized as Engagements when this condition changes. Engagements may only be broken for specific reasons, lest shame be brought up on the couple and their families who have betrothed them.
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The couple is found to be immediately related. Cousins, in medieval Europe, are permitted to and often wed; only blood-related siblings and half-siblings are to be obstructed from marriage.
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One or both parties is discovered to be ineligible to wed or have been falsely accounted for (for instance, if one or the other party is already wed or currently betrothed to another, or proven in some way not to be the maiden they should be, or possibly in the case of a great scandal upon either person or their family).
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The agreed dowry can no longer be paid within the agreed or reasonable timeframe.
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One or the other party or their immediate relatives becomes known for a traitor to the Crown.
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By decree of the couple’s ruling, local sovereign - in the case of Watling, the Baron. The Baroness may have some sway in his decision, or act on his behalf if she currently bears his official seal.
Married.
What God has brought together, let no man put asunder.
(Except, you know, this is a LARP, so what fun would that be?? Read on....)
A Treatise on the Art of Courtly Romance
according to modern French customs
In the French court there is a new custom of “Courtly Love” wherein it is perfectly acceptable for a chivalrous knight to pay homage to a deserving lady, even if she be married, praising her nobility, her beauty, dedicating his great feats to her, and wooing without ever hoping to receive more than her good favour. All in secret, of course.
(The French claim all things are more alluring when done in secret.)
Because marriages are often political alliances and seldom love matches, the French (ladies in particular) sought a means to inject their lives with more passion and romance. Courtly Love focuses on a few precious values to succeed, which include:
Jealousy, Secrecy, Desire, Constancy, and Virtue
The Courts of Love have laid out many examples and definitions.
We shall list here a few to give you a flavour for their intent:
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Marriage should not be a deterrent to love.
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Love cannot exist in the individual who cannot be jealous.
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Love constantly waxes and wanes.
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Only the most urgent circumstances should deprive one of love.
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True love excludes all from its embrace but the beloved.
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Public revelation of love is deadly to love in most instances.
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The value of love is commensurate with its difficulty of attainment.
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The presence of one’s beloved causes palpitation of the heart.
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A new love brings an old one to a finish.
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Good character is the one real requirement for worthiness of love.
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When love grows faint, its demise is usually certain.
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Suspicion of the beloved generates jealousy and therefore intensifies love.
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The lover’s every deed is performed with the thought of his beloved in mind.
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There is no such thing as too much of the pleasure of one’s beloved.
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Two men may love one woman, or two women one man.
A GM's Note and Advice:
It is very easy to fall back on our own acceptance of gender balance, homosexuality, polyamory, etc and you are welcome to bring any or all of this into your LARP experience if you so choose, often paving the way to happy endings. However, there will be more room for drama and angst if we play by the rules and restrictions of the genre. It's entirely up to you what choices you make and the GMs welcome all experiences and outcomes. Our advice (based on previous game runs) however, is it angst it up when and where you can lest your game end on a happy ending far too early, leaving you less game to play through to the end.